Fight For Your Life

I do not mean fight for your life in a physical realm with violence or abusive communication. Your down your depressed, your weak, you are mentally drained. The one person who is trying to break you down, you are allowing to conquer the mission. You feel like you are drowning, habits have changed, life is confusing and you feel unloved.

You will keep being tested, FIGHT through the depression, FIGHT through the pain! Push through and  the gates will open, free your soul and find yourself. This pain you feel is temporary but the pain is a fight. You know you are alive, your breathing and still fighting. The pain intensity is an emotional ball and chain. It feels like someone has grabbed your heart right out of your body and you can’t function. Get stronger mentally and physically, find your calling. Prove to everyone that tried to kill your dreams that you will prove them wrong.

You are better than this….get up, get showered, get dressed! Start believing in yourself again. Find some purpose every day to do something you love, read a book, take a walk, visit a friend. You can do this!

Every day the above words had to help fill my soul! These words little by little month after month started to seep into my thoughts and daily actions. Yes, some days are bad and I do get triggered to remember some awesome memories from time to time. I know we are told to “dislike” the narc, but I will always have a love for him. God does not make mistakes even when we choose a certain path. He discarded me and put me in so much pain, that the pain drove me to reconnect with myself. It forced me to recognize the woman staring in the mirror every morning. It forced me to dig deep in my heart and soul and know. I’m not stupid, I’m not crazy, I’m liked, and I serve a purpose on this Earth.  His favor was the one I wanted to hear, his opinion or being happy with my intensions or work became what I needed to feel better. The less and less approval I heard, the more depressed I became. The narc is not the end all opinion, but I let it be. I’m the referee in my own life!

Every day I was around someone who even if I was having a great day, would bring me down. If I was having a bad day they could find a way to make worse. When you are struggling hold on to those memories as well, we loved so much, believed in so much, and waited for change that did not happen. You need to understand; you are fighting for YOUR life now. You get to call the shots now, fall in love with yourself, build your confidence, show us what you can do! Prove your worth! You can do ANYTHING!

It’s not easy to find yourself again, but it is achievable and worth it.  Change your mind and your life will change. We all think our way in this and now it is time to think you way out of it, break through everything you are carrying. Motivate Yourself!

Fight for yourself, build yourself up, who are you? Don’t gravitate to the negative, but the positive. Life is based on the choices we make, it is time to go to another level, with that will come another devil but we can conquer anything we want with will power, strength, and determination. If you are going through a battle you know you are on the verge of building something.



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